Anon

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You’ll all know by now that I’m an anonymous blogger. What you’re not really call Mrboosmum, I hear you cry… I’m also a secret blogger. No one knows I write this and I steal moments (like now while I’m drying my hair) to write posts on my phone.

There are various and complicated reasons why I’ve made these choices. I don’t want my work colleagues or students knowing as much about my personal life as I lay bare here. I don’t want family to know how much things hurt or get to me sometimes. But it would be wrong to take my anonymity as a sign of fear, crippling modesty or acquiescence as my students often do when I teach novels (often, but not always, by women) of the past. (By the way, these are almost never the real reasons why historical writers published anonymously.) In my case, I just don’t think I could write this blog as I do without the shelter and freedom anonymity provides me.

What you get here is unedited me. I don’t really exist in this form anywhere else that’s visible. I can thank my anonymity for that.

There was a fascinating pbloggers chat a few weeks ago about blogging from the heart, which as you can probably tell is a subject and practice close to my own. Several of us were saying that we couldn’t blog honestly without anonymity and others started to think about how their blogs might look if they were linked to their real identities.

Then I had a bizarre run of emails and blog comments asking me what my name was or requesting that I self-identify on the blog. Some went so far as to say I was shooting my blog in the foot by being anonymous. That it would be more successful if I wrote under my name. Depends on the success you strive for, I guess. Honestly, you know so much more about me from reading my blog than you would from knowing my name.

All of this got me thinking about anonymity some more and I thought I’d share what it means to me.

A place where you can say and work through what you think and feel with

N o inhibitions

O r concerns that you will be overburdening anyone else who cares about you with your anxieties.

N o beating around the bush because

Y ou have to self-censor to

M ake others feel better. An

O pportunity to say things that are important to you and others and to

U nderstand a little more about yourself.

S omehere to be me and to celebrate all the wonderful and difficult things in my life.

I hope you understand why I’m anonymous. And that if you blog, whether you are anonymous or not, you feel able to blog from the heart. It’s liberating.

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16 thoughts on “Anon

  1. aint3113

    There are trade offs, that’s for sure. I am pretty no-holds-barred honest my own feelings, but because I’m public, I do not talk much about how my husband or sons may be telling me they are feeling. They are also part of my story and it’s a part that I think very carefully about before I share…and normally I don’t. Now that I just started working (the paying variety), I sometimes think…hmm, what if my colleagues reads what I wrote. One person at my company told me that he started to read it and was feeling a little like he knew too much about me so stopped. For me, I’m okay with it. And I have the support of my family (they know I’d be in lock up somewhere if I didn’t have the release and I’m the only one who knows how to take care of Owen, so lock up isn’t where they want me :-)) So public works for me…but I really understand the reasons for anonymity too. Either way, i’m glad you’re part of the community and extremely impressed that you can write coherent posts on your phone!

    Reply
  2. Orli D

    I’m going to try and leave a comment, though your blog doesn’t like my comments apparently. Anyway (not complaining at al), I think you are right. i sometimes wish I was anonymous, that my name and face weren’t everywhere, and my family and friends didn’t know (and comment) on everything I write. It’s a tough decision. I am very bad at keeping secrets, and I have to admit, though I do censor myself, I am less concern with who gets hurt as the time passes. Mainly because no matter how hard I try, someone always gets hurt. But that’s for a different time. Also, don’t have an outside-world job, so that’s different. I think we all blog for different outlets, and when you want to lay it all on the table, it is easier to do without everyone knowing who you are.
    My only problem is, i need a name to associate when I am thinking of you. It doesn’t have to be a real name, it’s just that Mrboosmum is too long! I’m calling you Bella in my head because of that 🙂

    Reply
  3. tharar65

    *I like it when bloggers have a name which they use. If they dont, I tend to make up names for them. Which is why you’re now called Leah.*

    (*Added bit*)

    Reply
    1. mrboosmum Post author

      Thanks for reading and commenting. I should have explained. The bizarre refers to a series of 5 emails I got (thought they were spam at first) in which someone who emailed me from an anon bt account got increasingly angry that I wouldn’t tell them my name. From an anon account! Then I got some more emails from named accounts asking me the same, but they understood. I don’t mind people asking me at all. But I couldn’t understand the anger or why I got a flurry of ten emails in a row when I’d only had 1 person ask me on the blog before. And I really couldn’t understand why the anon person was so cross with me . Leah is a lovely name. Very happy to go by that!

      Reply
    2. mrboosmum Post author

      And now I remember that you asked me my name via the blog a while back…Hope you didn’t think I meant you were bizarre for asking! I will now take my foot out of my blogging mouth….

      Reply
  4. Jaime Oliver

    I think there are certain advantages and disadvantages for both ways of blogging and i genuinely believe that its such a personal decision based on so many facts you have to do what is right for you!

    Thanks for linking up with #PoCoLo

    Reply
  5. Sara (@mumturnedmom)

    As I said in my bio on PoCoLo today, I started my blog originally as a journal for us, and so that I didn’t have to write 342 emails every week! But I have days where I really wish it was anonymous… I actually have a post in draft talking a little about it, triggered by Orli’s new Dreadful Moments linky… It’s a tricky one – but knowing someone’s name doesn’t make any difference to my enjoyment of their blog and writing!

    Reply
  6. Momma P

    When I started my blogs I didn’t really give much information but eventually I just started using names. I don’t give my last name (except I think I did when Sam was born). So I understand

    Reply
  7. Tim

    Swings and roundabouts. I gave this a lot of thought when starting out before eventually deciding not to be anonymous, simply because the blog was always meant as much for family and friends as for other people. But there are definitely times when I have avoided writing certain posts which I could have written anonymously.

    Ultimately, we choose whichever path feels right for us. But I do know people who have gone public and then regretted it, so I would always say to someone new to blogging who is uncertain to opt for anonymity first – you can always change your mind later and once your identity is out in the open, there’s no going back.

    Reply
  8. Shailaja /Doting Mom

    There are many reasons why people blog anonymously and you chose the reasons well. I especially loved the mnemonic! That’s the word-game fan in me talking 🙂

    Reply

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