Two years ago, right about now, I was having terrible Braxton Hicks contractions. I hadn’t had them with Sissyboo. I was told they were normal. I knew they could be. But I knew these weren’t.
Two years ago, I was really scared despite the excitement of having a new baby.
Two years ago, I tried to bury myself in other things (Sissyboo, work, planning for our new arrival) so as not to confront my suspicion that things weren’t OK.
Two years ago, I planned to make a note of my concerns and tell the midwife I would see in 3 days after changing GPs.
Two years ago, I was looking forward to my second midwife appointment in 28 weeks of pregnancy.
Two years ago, everything was different.
Two years feels like a lifetime ago…
…Two years on and as I type this, I have tears in my eyes and the hairs on my neck are standing on end. I can’t quite unpack the emotions to tell you why this is happening. I am not sad, I know that. But I’m not happy either.
All I can tell you is how much I love my little boy and how grateful I am that he made it. And how anniversaries are terribly difficult things when your child is born prematurely, or ill, or disabled.