2 Years Ago

 

Two years ago, I woke up with the by now all too familiar feeling of excitement mixed with dread. I felt queasy.

Two years ago we got ready to go to the hospital. Again.

Two years ago I longed for the days I wouldn’t have to hit a buzzer to be permitted through a door to see my little boy.

Two years ago I walked the usual walk from the car park to the hospital entrance.

Two years ago I looked up from the ground floor to the first and gazed at the window where the blue lights were on.

I hoped you were OK. I hoped nothing unexpected had happened overnight.

Two years ago Sissyboo held my hand just a little bit tighter.

My other hand was weighed down with things I hadn’t had to carry for a long time: a change bag and a car seat.

Two years ago we hit that bloody buzzer again. For the last time.

Two years ago you looked so big, though still so small.

Two years ago I crossed my fingers for the three hours it took for us to get the word.

That felt like ages, but we had waited so long already. Six whole weeks that felt like six long years. Because two years ago we learned that time can slow down to the point you feel it will never get moving again.

And then, two years ago and three hours later we finally got the nod.

As we walked to the door I kept waiting for someone to tell us it was a mistake. That they had changed their mind.

But they didn’t.

Two years ago you weighed the magic five pounds and had reached the equally magic 35 weeks gestation.

So two years ago our life was rebooted.

Two years ago we became the family of four we had longed to be.

Two years ago, Boo, you came home. Happy homecoming, gorgeous boy. We are so pleased you made it back to us. We will never be separated again.

 

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8 thoughts on “2 Years Ago

  1. sheetsoflightning

    Oh how that resonates…we waited 6 hours to get the nod. Longest 6 hours ever. Getting home was surreal. Oh how glad I’m sure you are to be able to say that you will never look back beyond that nod, that lonely drive to and from the hospital you took a hundred times, those hours in “that” chair…not to mention the smell of the hospital and the beeping machines. So long Meningitis, you suck the big one. Congratulations Boo and family

    Reply
  2. P

    Oh that day. That long awaited, exciting, anxiety-provoking, can I trust that this is really happening, is it ok to be happy day. So happy for you all! Congratulations Boo and to all of you!

    Reply

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