I am …

I am tired. So tired that my eyes feel hot as well as heavy.

I am tired because I don’t get enough sleep.

I am tired of all the appointments. Seven this week. Yes: seven.

I am tired because my already long to-do lists get longer after each appointment.

I am tired of not getting to the end of these lists. Of not even really beginning them.

I am tired of my head being filled with so many things that it can’t switch off.

I am tired of putting out metaphorical fires.

I am tired that just when one hurdle is overcome another problem rears its ugly head from where you least expect it.

I am tired of anniversary season. 

I am tired of spreading myself too thinly. Of being a parent, a partner, a therapist, an advocate, a runner and fundraiser and an employee.

I am tired of work filling every minute that isn’t filled with everything else. 

I am tired of people, kind people, telling me I am amazing to be doing so many things.

I am tired of telling them I only get away with doing so many things by doing each of these things badly.

I am tired of not being good enough, of not having enough hours in the day. 

I am tired of chasing my tail.

And mostly, I am just tired of being tired.

 

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3 thoughts on “I am …

  1. swanarchie07

    All I can say is I totally understand that feeling of tiredness but mums like you keep me going. I am never too tired to read your blogs xx massive cuddles to you from one tired mum to another tired mum xxxx

    Reply

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