How far Do you Have to Come to Go Back?

For #ThrowbackThursday a post I wrote this time last year and which I am struggling with again this year. Have you gone to a NICU reunion? Did you stay in contact with SCBU or NICU friends? And what does it say about me, I wonder that I can’t go back. I get chills every physio appointment for Boo when I look up and see the NICU window by Boo’s cot space even now. Would love your thoughts.

Premmeditations

When I got back from our family holiday I was dreading the backlog of  ‘To the Parents of Mr Boo’ letters that would be on the doormat. Any parent of a medically fragile or disabled child will know what I mean. The endless appointments that take so much juggling to attend, the dashed hopes when it’s not the appointment you’ve been waiting for for months and really need. The summaries of appointments that coldly reduce your child to a set of terms, conditions and prognoses. There were plenty of those, but the letter that really floored me was slightly different.
I knew what it was before I opened it. You see they’d addressed it to Boo but given him my surname (The Grumposaur and I are not married). It’s the name he went by in hospital even though we begged them (for the sake of my struggling-to-bond partner) to give…

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