Tag Archives: inchstones

Three little words

It’s been ever such a long time since I have linked up to the fabulous Small Steps Amazing Achievements or the life-enhancing weekend link up over at Love that Max. But that’s not for want of inchstones, here. There have been plenty.

No: the problem has been me. I won’t lie to you. I am really struggling at the moment. Really struggling. Hence the blog radio silence. The weight of appointments and admin and the huge hurdles in front of us at the moment around education, work and the many milestones that it seems ever less likely Boo will ever meet feels totally overwhelming. I try to be positive. And in the day-to-day when I am with Boo and playing with him I don’t feel so bad. Because I just enjoy him and being with him.

But in quiet moments (the only moments I can steal to blog in) I feel totally at sea and worried I am drowning. I don’t know how to swim to shore any more. It is horribly disconcerting.

It’s hard to summon up the wherewithal to write about Boo’s achievements, no matter how proud I am of them. And I am. Because for every inchstone met, there are a dozen milestones receding into the distance. Just two minutes ago I put in an application for mobility DLA (Disability Living Allowance) for Boo. I can honestly say it is one of the most heartbreaking documents that I have ever had to write. The catalogue of professionals and list of all the things he cannot do is just too much to contemplate.

But what I know deep down, even if it is hard to summon up this feeling in these rare, dark quiet stolen moments is that the feelings of desperation I feel on his (and if I’m being totally honest, mine and his father’s and sister’s) parts make it all the more important to chronicle and celebrate his achievements.

And this has to be the biggest of the past few months. Speech.

Now don’t get too excited and think he’s reciting the Gettysburg Address all of a sudden. Or even a single sentence. But Boo’s speech is still coming on a bundle. Words he had before – ‘Mum’, ‘Dad’, ‘up’ (meaning: pick me or else, Mum), ‘go’ (meaning: why are you so blinking slow at everything, Mum?), ‘yeah’ and his current favourite ‘no’ – are so much more distinct. And he has got a pretty impressive range of other phonic sounds now, most of which he will say on sight of the relevant jolly phonic flashcard. We are still struggling with s, z, v, z and h but we hope they will come with time.

And he has all of his vowel sounds now: the last one ‘ee’ arrived out of nowhere one day just before Christmas. He still struggles to put these sounds together. He can say ‘p’ and ‘l’ and ‘ee’, for example, but if you ask him to say please he says ‘eeeeeeeee’. But it’s a mighty strong start nevertheless.

It’s all about putting the building blocks in place and seeing where we can get with them. Building up from sounds to single words. He has new ones every week or so at the moment. A new addition is ‘ewlp’ meaning ‘help’. My personal favourite, because it is always said with a cheeky smile on his face, is ‘I duck’ meaning ‘I’m stuck’, which is code for I’m a toddler get me out of here! I can’t wait to hear what comes next! Once you have words, it’s all about putting them together of course. And Boo is trying out that fun game: ‘Mum, go’, ‘Mum, up’ are the soundtrack to my life. And there are some even more impressive strings of words coming along. The other day I was singing the title music to Something Special (to myself, not Boo, you everyone does that, right?) and I got as far as ‘Hello, Hello’ and was about to launch into ‘how are you?’ when I heard Boo at the other end of the dining room say ‘ow ar oooooo?’ at which point he burst into hysterics at his own amazingness. I squealed so loudly Sissyboo said, ‘Do we need to phone the hospital Mummy?’ Where did that come from?

But best of all is the way that Boo is mimicking speech patterns. Boo does everything in his own way. He isn’t going to follow the whole, phonics, words, sentences, conversation logical progression any more than he is going to roll, sit, stand, walk, run. No, he may only have 20-30 or so words, and have lots of sounds he cannot say at all yet, but he is still trying to replicate the patterns of words and phrases he hears. So if you say ‘garden’ to him he will repeat: ‘ah’ ‘ah’. Two syllables. Two sounds. If you say ‘that was good’, he might say ‘a ah ooo’. It’s very sweet.

But nothing is sweeter than the three little words he has been saying for a few months now. Words he has heard an awful lot since he was born so very, very early: ‘Ah. Uv. Ooo’ (‘I love you’). The first time he said it, I cried. The first time he said ‘Ah. Uv. Ooo. Mum’,

I cried. Of course, I knew he loved me, his dad and his sister before he told us. One of the many things Boo has taught me is how we communicate in so many other ways than through speech and writing. No: I cried for a whole bunch of other reasons. Because he had hit his mark and progressed with his speech at a time when many physical milestones seem more remote than ever. Because it was such a physical effort to arrange his body in such a way as to produce these sounds. Because when he was only 2 weeks corrected age an utterly unfeeling prematurity paediatrician told me my child would likely never speak at all.

In my dimmer moments now I feel like I am back in that awful appointment over 2 and a half years ago. And so I replay Boo’s words in my head and realise that he has made a future for himself that is so much brighter than anyone predicted. And for that, I am very grateful.

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Good News Friday #72-75

Honestly, I can’t keep up lately. There is so much I want to tell you about, good and annoying, but I just don’t know where the time is going lately. Well I do – appointments and work – but I am in denial. So it’s a good time to pause for thought. A time to remind myself, it isn’t all chaos here in Boo land. And the good stuff keeps coming.

So, here are some good news highlights:

1) Running: I ran a half marathon last weekend. I know I don’t post pics of me or identifiable pics of the kids on here, but those few of you who have met me in real life can testify to the fact that I don’t look like a runner. (In fact, I am now on a post-run diet.) And I struggle to call myself a runner. Running is what other people do. But last weekend, after months of following the most skeletal half marathon training I could and still have a reasonable chance of crossing the finish line, I did it. In 2 hours 12 on a hilly course. I am thrilled. Running is so important to me. I can’t say I like running itself that much, but I like the enforced me time, I like pushing myself in recognition of the challenges Boo faces every day, and mostly, I like raising money for good causes. Which I did. I am so grateful.

2) Statementing: Because of a not so happy accident I regaled on the blog’s Facebook page, I found out that Boo is going to be issued with a statement. We hope to have it next week. Of course, we can’t know what it will say and the battles may only just beginning, but our hope is that it supports him better and for longer in his nursery setting. It has been quite a journey so far, I hope the road ahead isn’t too long.

3) Boo: I have about 5 Small Steps Amazing Achievements posts I have to write to tell you about the new things Boo is doing. I don’t want to steal the thunder of the posts I want to write, but don’t set the bar too high. It’s not like he’s learned to walk, or sit, or roll. But you know what? Those inchstones keep coming lately. Little surprises, things I’d almost given up on are starting to happen. Odd words I wondered if I’d ever hear, gestures, small acts that are a very big deal in our world. Dare I say it, Boo’s on a bit of a roll. And it’s a fun ride to be on, let me tell you.

I hope you have lots of good news to share. Do let us know what’s going on in your world. We love to hear from you!